


All That I Can Give

by Techgirl



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:04:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Techgirl/pseuds/Techgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian's cancer is forcing them to find new ways to be together.</p><p>Timeline 409-410</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That I Can Give

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by later2nite.

My body is failing me. The hours I’ve spent at the gym mean nothing now. I can’t even trust my own cock.

I hate that I can’t fuck Justin. I know he wants me to, even though he’s learned not to ask for it. We’ve had our fair share of failures over the last couple of weeks.

I’ve gone to the baths, had guys try to get me off, and walked away when it hasn’t worked. I know Justin wants it to be him down on his knees in front of me. As much as I would love for him to do it, I don’t want him to have to feel me go soft in his mouth. He knows it’s not his fault. It’s not even my fault, but I still don’t want it.

\----------

He slowly wakes up beside me. Pulling him close to my chest, I smile when he almost purrs. His skin is so soft under my fingers, his body hard and perfect. I feel my cock twitch, but I’ve learned to ignore it.

He kisses my neck before moving his lips to my nipples. I arch my back a bit as the electricity shoots through my body. It feels so fucking good. Even if I can’t fuck, I’m still horny.

Rubbing himself against my leg, his dick is already hard. I put my hands on his ass, pull him on top of me, and can’t help but moan when our cocks push together. Using my hands, I spread him wide, and he gasps as the cold air in the loft brushes over his hole. My dry finger runs over it, making him shout and beg me to do it again.

I kiss him, and when our tongues meet I push one of my fingers into his mouth. He sucks on it as if it’s my dick that’s in his mouth. I let him do it for awhile; it’s so incredibly hot to watch. When I finally put it at the rim of his hole, he wiggles around on top of me.

I push it inside of him so fast that he doesn’t have time to adjust to it. He curses at me when I pull out to pour lube over my fingers. I quickly push two of them inside again, knowing how much he hates feeling empty.

I can tell by the sounds he’s making that he loves the stretch. He’s so tight that I’m starting to believe he hasn’t been fucked since I got sick. Not wanting to think about what that means, I begin to fuck him with my fingers, his mouth all over me. He sucks on my skin, kissing me wherever he can reach and biting lightly at my chest.

When I tell him to shift so I can sidle up behind him, I see a glint of uncertainty in his eyes. He doesn’t want another failure any more than I do.

\----------

Caressing his back, I reach for a dildo next to the bed. I lube it up and push the head of it against his hole. He moans so loudly that I start to laugh. I can’t remember the last time I laughed in bed.

Watching the dildo go in, I bend forward and lick around the rim, making him shiver. I love to see it buried deep inside of him, see his body react to it. God, I wish it were my cock opening him up. I want to fuck him so much it hurts.

Turning him around, I stare at him for a second. He looks amazing: his face is flushed, he’s wet with sweat, and he’s so horny his eyes are glazed over.

“Fuck me, Brian! Please, fuck me,” he begs, his hand stroking his cock fast. I see the precum leaking out of it as he writhes on the bed.

I look down at my own cock. It’s hard, for now. I wait till Justin is watching me before I lick the palm of my hand and close it around my dick. He gasps, his eyes locked on my hand as it moves quickly up and down my shaft. I squeeze it tightly, enjoying the feeling so fucking much of it being hard.

Before I have a chance to go soft, I let go and push the dildo back inside of Justin, angling it so it will hit his prostate. Arching his back, he begins to push his ass against my hand. He shouts when I fuck him fast and roughly.

I see him ride the waves of his orgasm as it courses through his body. When he comes all over his hand, I carefully pull out of him. He smiles at me when I reach for his hand and lick the cum off of his fingers. Loving the taste of him, I make sure to eat every bit of it.

We fall down together on the bed, our bodies still entwined. He inches even closer, and I hear him softly mumble, “I love you,” in my ear.

Hugging him tightly, I bury my face in his neck and whisper a “thank you.” I hope it’s enough, even though it’s not what he wants to hear. I’m so grateful he stayed when I tried to push him away.

I don’t think I would have survived this without him.


End file.
